Fatboy’s Trio of Tips for Triathletes – Starting out or “The Fatboy Cometh!”

I find it hard to keep more than 3 things in my head at a time, so I have distilled this trio of pearls of wisdom (?) on a variety of triathlon topics from the many hours of paddling, pedaling and pounding round triathlons over the last few years:

A journey of thousand miles starts with but a single step….

Somehow, someway you have come to the conclusion that you need to do a triathlon.

Maybe you finally decided to get properly fit…

Maybe you decided to shift a few pounds…

Maybe the lure of neoprene and lycra was simply too much to resist…

 

Whatever the reason, welcome to the club. It is easy to think that every triathlete was born an Adonis, perfect in physical form and laser-like in their focus. Swathed in high-tech materials and aboard exotic carbon-fibre mounts, they cruise the Triathlon circuits worldwide, placing well and posting new PBs in every leg or event…

Annoying, aren’t they?

But don’t worry, not everyone is like that (and actually the vast majority of those who are, are great guys and girls who recognise that turning up is a greater step than most people take in a lifetime, so you will be welcome).

Most people in triathlon are as normal as anyone else, if a bit fitter and more determined.

And they all started somewhere. Some switched from single sports such as running or swimming to multidiscipline with some great legacy skills and fitness. Others are looking at everything fresh, with legacy love handles and are wondering where on Earth to start….

Tip 1: Take Stock

Sorry to sound like a lawyer (occupational hazard), but look at all of your assets and liabilities (physical, skills-based or attitude-based) and work out what you need to get to the start line. Each one will tell you something about how to train and finish your first triathlon

It might look like this:

Assets

1. Bike (bit rusty)
2. Can Swim (ish)
3. Have running shoes (dusty)
4. Love sports drinks (after a big night out)
5. Old weight training kit
6. Some free cash
7. 3 months to the event

Liabilities

1. Scared of open water (thank you, Stephen Spielberg)
2. Can’t swim more than 25m
3. Can’t run more than a mile (or at least couldn’t 4 years ago when I last tried)
4. Don’t look good in lycra (Michelin Man)
5. Only 3 months to the event

Conclusions

1. Get your bike serviced and buy a helmet
2. Join a pool and get some lessons if you can
3. Pull on the trainers and get out there. Or in there. Running machines aren’t bad and are great for controlling intervals, but not a patch on hitting the road.
4. Dust off the weights
5. Get reacquainted with that room where you keep the beer and the find out what all the other toys apart from the fridge do.

Tip 2: Plan Accordingly

I looked at triathlon as 5 disciplines (rather than just 3), all of which need to be factored into training. So based on your inventory you can plan as follows:

Swim – Read up on technique and drills (plenty online and some pretty good books too…hint, hint…) or better yet get some lessons and design a plan to build up to the total swim distance. Then when you are fit enough and confident enough, buy/rent a wetsuit and find a local body of water to immerse yourself in, preferably with some likeminded or experienced open water swimmers on hand.

Cycle – Build up some regular rides to develop your bike skills and gradually extend to your final triathlon distance –Always, always, always wear a helmet: not only is it usually an event requirement, but you will almost certainly fall off and while your minor scrapes will heal, your noggin may not. And on Earth we are only issued with the one….

Run – Again plan to build up gradually until you can complete the run distance, but if you are a little on the “Clydesdale” side like me, don’t increase the distances too fast or you’ll knacker something. And run on something soft:

Grass/Sand: Goooood

Tarmac/Concrete:….Baaaaad.

Strength Training – Start slowly and gradually build up according to how you feel and if nothing else I would concentrate on core strength, which keeps your various bits working together properly. If you are in the least bit worried about smacking yourself in the head with weights, probably best to avoid them until you sober up.

With all of these you are better doing shorter, regular training sessions than fewer monster ones.

Nutrition – There are thousands of diets out there, but I have found that the following principle seems to hold:

• More calories in, than out – gain weight
• More calories out, than in – lose weight

The more you follow this and the more flattering the lycra gets. Yeah and the fitness thing, too…

So get in the kitchen and take control of what you eat by planning it – eating crap often happens when you don’t have options ready.

Tip 3: Get Started and Keep Going

You are going to need to stick to your plan, so:

• Concentrate on why you are doing it – big shiny reasons, please.
• Make sure the planned sessions are substantial enough to matter, but still achievable, so you don’t fall short and feel demotivated.
• Factor in rewards – the stick is good (not finishing would suck…) but the carrot is important, too. So make sure you have enough recovery breaks, treats (food, drinks, going out – all three, if you like and I often do) and support – when the going gets tough, the tough think about the gig, meal out, drinks with friends, the lie-in, the party, the new books, mobile phone etc etc – whatever floats your boat.

Summary

Work out what you have;

Work out what you need to do and the time you have to do it in; and,

Work out what is going to keep you going.

Then do it. Easy, right?

And remember you’re awesome, so you’ll be fine.

For more details on my journey from Fatboy to Ironman, please download my ebook:

UK Kindle Edition

Smashwords Edition   

US Kindle edition

http://www.fb2im.co.uk

Fatboy to Ironman Now Available!

I am delighted to announce the publication of Fatboy to Ironman on Kindle and Smashwords

One man’s journey to stop being a fatboy and complete arguably the ultimate endurance challenge to become…

…an Ironman

While still enjoying the odd beer and few (?) late nights.

A training guide, a meditation on health and a humorous fitness roadtrip all rolled in one.

For anyone who wants to get fit, lose weight, take part in a triathlon, go for the Ironman or just enjoy his pain – FB2IM

Available on Smashwords https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/307906

And Kindle

Advance Promotional Blurb for Fatboy to Ironman…

Promotional blurb for the forthcoming book, Fatboy to Ironman (FB2IM):

Jaan Larner is a big guy who enjoys the good things in life: food, drink and some (very) late nights every once in a while.

Not the ideal candidate for endurance sport you might think…?

But this is the story of that big guy going for the ultimate goal of finishing one of the hardest athletic challenges in the world:

The Ironman Triathlon

2.4 miles of open water swimming

112 miles of cycling

26.2 miles of running

Back to back and all within 17 hours.

Put another way, it’s the equivalent of swimming along the Thames between Tower Bridge and Westminster Bridge in London, cycling almost all the way round the M25 and then running a marathon…

On average 30% of those who enter don’t finish.

The Ironman Event organisers estimate that only 300,000 people have ever completed one.

That’s 0.005% of the world’s population or only 1 in 23,000

Which is roughly 2,800 people in the UK or 13,500 in the US.

In fact, there is a better chance of there being a catastrophic collision between an asteroid and the Earth in the next 100 years…and you dying in it (20,000 to 1 in case you were wondering) than becoming an Ironman.

You get the point…it’s really hard.

Fatboy to Ironman

Some people were surprised that he would even consider it…

More were shocked when he actually entered…

All of them were amazed when he completed it.

This is the story of his transformation…

…From Fatboy to Ironman

The book includes:

• Training schedules
• Swimming drills
• Weight training programs
• Tabulated lessons and takeaways for each distance, discipline and training type
• Advice on:
• Kit selection
• The ‘mental game’
• Nutrition
• Useful websites, books and apps
• Dealing with the aftermath

Plus

Detailed accounts of each triathlon distance:

• Olympic,
• Half ironman (70.3) and
• Full Ironman (140.6)

Including all the successes and, more importantly, the failures.

All written in the author’s distinctive light-hearted style.

Whether you are considering getting into shape or if you want to see if you can conquer one of the toughest endurance events of them all, this book has everything you need to get started and much more.

He did it, despite the odds.

Maybe you can, too…

Exclusive Preview from Fatboy to Ironman ebook…

The following is an exclusive preview from the forthcoming ebook “Fatboy to Ironman”, by Jaan Larner

It covers his journey from overweight lawyer to Ironman in just 4 triathlons, setting out training and nutrition plans, event accounts, his successes and (more importantly) his failures and all the lessons along the way, including the all important Mental Game.

All told in a light-hearted, humourous way.

A must-read for triathletes and anyone interested in getting healthy without missing out.

http://www.fb2im.co.uk

“Triathlon.

The mere mention of the sport conjures images of lean, sinewy men and women, clad in glistening wetsuits, with steely determination in their eyes and exuding the palpable confidence of athletes who have dedicated hours, months, years to grinding cardio-vascular training and bear a genetic heritage that would make Superman cry.

Lined up at the start like rubber action figures, they explode into action at the gun, diving into the water to do battle in the washing-machine scrum of the Swim stage, vying for position. They slip effortlessly through the water like greased otters eating up the watery metres before emerging barely breathless, to shed their neoprene skin and lope gracefully to their waiting carbon-fibre mounts.

The helmets are donned and we glimpse the skin tight lycra-clad bodies, looking like animated Gray’s anatomy models (but you know, with skin and none of the yucky stuff showing) as they hop on their featherlight, staggeringly expensive cycles, to power away – guzzling restorative fluids and gels to fuel them on the bike route. Some may fall by the wayside, through accident or breakdown, but most will power up hills and zip down slopes, tucked in the aero-position to maximize the hard-won potential energy accumulated on the climb or just translating the chemical energy of their gels into as much forward motion as possible, contorting themselves to conform to the lowest possible drag coefficient.

Eventually, and before any reasonable human expectation, these creatures of fantasy reach the second transition, jog their bikes back to their storage point, cast aside their helmets and slip into their running shoes – seemingly without breaking stride – exhibiting an economy of movement which belies the endless practice and dedication to saving seconds here and there, all for these pure racing moments.

And then we see them properly, in full running flow – all taught, lean muscle and wind-hewed features – they lope powerfully along, always expending energy as economically as possible, wasting nothing with laser-like focus on their objective.

Until finally, having timed their exertions to perfection, they cross the line – a personal best. Again.

 

OK…well…this book isn’t for them.

 

It’s for the other guys…

 

The people who could barely swim 50m when they started and are scared of open water (thanks, Mr Spielberg, you taught a generation that the beach is great right up to the moment you get wet – then you die.).

The people who hate cycling because, if you weigh more than a lettuce leaf, those seats are capable of cutting you in half and the gears don’t go low enough to let you leverage yourself up anything steeper than a cheese wedge.

The people who find running painful, humiliating, exhausting, annoying and entirely redundant in a time where cars and public transport are surely a reasonable means of getting about.

The people who have treated their bodies like a temple – just one where you can keep you shoes on when you go in, eat cake and cheese when you’re there; and where they don’t mind if you spill your beer when you light your cigarette.

You know – to a greater or lesser degree – the rest of us….”